"You are worth the same kindness, respect, and grace you extend to others. However you speak to the people you love should be the same way you speak to yourself."

When we allow ourselves to come alive to love throughout the day, it changes the way we see the world around us, and the way we see ourselves. It may not change the circumstance, but it propels us to see that despite the circumstances, our hearts are still beating and we are worth compassion and kindness, right here where we are. We have to believe that even in the worst of things we are worthy of love, and we are also free to love ourselves.

What does it mean for us to ‘love ourselves?’

I have thought about this for a while, and I think it is possible that the answer might be endless, and challenging to sum it up in one day’s post. I believe this will look different from person to person. However, I also believe that loving yourself means being gentle with yourself. It means being kind, taking care, and not judging yourself.

If you want to figure out what it means to ‘love yourself,’ think about the people in your life who you love more than anything. How does it look like when you love them? How do you speak to them after they’ve had a hard day? How do you show up for them when they need someone to lean on? How have you extended grace to them?

Take a moment and think about these answers. Write them down if you need to. And then, look at that list as a starting point to how you are going to remember to love yourself.

You are worth the same kindness, respect, and grace you extend to others. However you speak to the people you love should be the same way you speak to yourself. When the people you love have made mistakes, your hope is that they will heal. Your hope is that they will get better. You are allowed to hope this for yourself, too. This is what love does.

Sometimes, you might fear loving yourself because you are afraid to become or come across as self-absorbed. Self-absorption is “preoccupation with one's own emotions, interests, or situation.” It means that you’re not fully present because you’re consumed with what’s going on inside of you and in your own life that you don’t notice what’s going on in the lives of others. Loving yourself is more than just an inward look. It’s coming to terms of what you are worth, and of the many things you are worthy of, you are certainly worthy of love.

Even when you know that loving yourself is not self-absorption or selfishness it can still be difficult to practice this on a daily basis. But just remember, the key word here is practice. The more you practice extending grace, not judging, and being kind to yourself, the more you will begin to see that even though it takes some getting used to, you are unlearning old ways of thinking that made you feel you were unworthy. You are learning new ways of living and being in the present moment, and you are able to be and love yourself, knowing this is what you are worthy of.

More tomorrow…

Sincerely,
Morgan Harper Nichols

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